The unbearable lightness of Groupon promo copy

I'm a big fan of Groupon. Though not the only, or even the best, example of promoting consumer discounts through collective buying, Groupon remains a Big Kid on the Block.

But am I the only one who skims through the opening gambit every day? Some examples of some recent cringeworthy copy:

Multitasking makes both activities more enjoyable, as demonstrated by the popularity of eating in the shower and bird watching while regretting a chosen career path.

Despite outnumbering the enemy by large serving portions, General Custard's cupcake army proved no match against the rogue sweet teeth and difficult terrain of Candy Mountain.

Much like Ted Williams and Barbaro, yogurt is full of so much greatness that it must be frozen so it can be shared with future generations.

Who, exactly, is the audience for these saucy nonsequiteurs? They seem to try to tread a fine line between ironic and playful. For me, it's like the person at the party who's doing a crazy little dance to get your attention, and then when he's got it and you look closer, it turns out that he's a pretty normal guy. Or ad pitch, as the case may be. Why the initial jumping? Why the playful language that immediately is discarded?

Maybe pitch writing duties are divvied up per sentence. John, you write the body of the pitch. Sarah, you make sure all the information is correct. And the first sentence will be handled by Nweobaseroiu.